TGIF?

I woke up Friday morning and by habit/instinct immediately felt my breasts to check for soreness and tenderness...  ... ...  it was pretty much gone.  Since that was always a negative sign I started to feel really down.  I knew I had to get up and get ready for the day, but really just wanted to stay in bed.  And wait for my period to come.  

My in-laws, husband and I decided we should all take a walk to another hotel/casino and before we left I hit up the bathroom.  Without going into TMI, I saw slight signs of my period coming and felt my heart sink.  I walked out of the bathroom, caught up with my husband and told him I was pretty sure I wasn't pregnant.  We were walking behind m in-laws and I didn't want them to hear anything so I just told him to keep it quiet and let's just go about our day.  I didn't want to be a downer and I really didn't want to talk about it.  Again.  And I was trying to be strong.  

We arrived at another casino and my FIL (father-in-law), SIL (sister-in-law) and I sat down at a Caribbean Stud Table.  After a short while I felt the urge to pee, again...  This time there were no signs of my period.  "Hmmm... No, don't go there, Anita!  Don't think you're pregnant for one second cause then you'll get disappointed!"  I did feel a bit better though.  Secretly. 

We went about the rest of our day and my MIL (mother-in-law), SIL and I walked past a bunch of people playing Bingo and thought it would be fun to play, so we made plans to go the next day.  

I went the entire day without starting my period.  The one thing I could always count on was me being "regular" and always starting when I was "supposed" to...  Was I going to allow myself to be positive?  Could I let myself think that maybe, I might be pregnant?  

One thing was sure...  I went to bed Friday night not as afraid to wake up the next day.  For me, that was enough positivity for one day.  Enough I would allow, anyhoo.