My husband suited up in the typical hospital garb and they tried to tell me how the procedure was going to happen. All I heard was, in about 20 minutes she'll be here. Before they wheeled me into the operating room they handed me some stuff to drink that was supposed to help with acid reflux. I suppose it did afterward, but initially it just made me puke. ick!
As they "prepped" me for surgery I tried my best to just talk to my husband and focus on the end game. It was cold and I was shivering and I couldn't control my chattering teeth. I had heard so many stories of women who said they could feel the incision and I was just hoping I wasn't going to be one of them. My husband was sitting at my side and they let him bring in the video camera since my sister wasn't allowed in the room. I wasn't sure what they would allow him to tape, but I was happy he had it with him. There were about 4 Dr.'s working on me and my anesthesiologist had explained what drugs he was going to be giving me and how they would take affect soon. They were all very very nice. That's one of the many things I remember... they all tried their best to comfort me.
I could tell we were getting close and it wasn't long after when they began... I didn't feel a thing. And then I heard my OB telling my husband to get ready! Get ready for what, I wondered?? Were they actually going to let him videotape the delivery? And then they told him it was time and to get the camera! OH MY GOSH, they did! They let him video tape her being brought into this world.
And in a few short moments I could hear my baby's cries. Everybody told me she was here, but up until I heard those cries, I wasn't satisfied. Her cries, her announcement to me that she was here, was the most magical sound I have ever heard in my life. I immediately burst into tears and cries of joy. They held her up so I could see her and oh my goodness. She was absolutely beautiful. Gorgeous. God's perfect, most perfect creation. The most perfect and wonderful and awesome thing that my husband and I had ever done. They carried her over to the weighing table to get all of the pertinent information and all I could do was peek over to get glimpses of her as the Dr. and nurses went about their work. My husband was able to walk over and videotape most of it. They would call out her stats and tell me how beautiful she was and I just laid there... in total and complete awe of her existence.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, they wrapped her in a blanket, put her little cap on and brought her over to me. My arms were so numb and I could barely lift them to hold her so the nurse laid her on my chest and lifted my arms to wrap them around her. All I could do was stare at her. I could hear my husbands sniffles as he sat next to me, video camera in hand, and at one point I whispered to him to help me. I didn't feel sturdy enough to hold her on my own. I did everything I could to just soak her in. I could smell her and see her big beautiful dark eyes and somehow, in the midst of all my amazement at her sight I was able to speak a few words... "we waited so long for you". I was elated.
It wasn't long after they took her to the nursery. My husband had strict orders to stay with her and not leave her side for a moment. And then... they were gone. I was so full of emotions at that point I am pretty sure I was floating above the clouds. They wheeled me into a room for recovery and the next thing I remember is waking up and seeing my husband sitting next to me. It was 3 1/2 hours later.
"Is she ok"? Were the first words out of my mouth and then, "where is she"? My husband was very concerned about me and all I could do was wonder about my baby. He told me that my family had all seen her and that at one point she grabbed onto his finger and wouldn't let go. I was told that I couldn't be transferred until I was able to move my legs. So I hugged my husband and told him to get back to our baby girl. Oh my gosh, I tried with All. My. Might to move my legs and finally, after about 30 minutes I moved my feet and yelled to the nurse that I was ready to be transferred.
They wheeled me into the next room and I, very impatiently waited for them to bring me my daughter. The door opened and in walked my husband and then shortly there after... they wheeled her in, in her little hospital crib. It had been four hours since she was born and I was finally able to sit up and hold her properly in my arms. I had no idea what this was going to feel like. Nobody can ever fully explain to someone else how truly blissful it is to hold your brand new baby in your arms. It is not a feeling that is really describable and yet I feel like I want to continue trying... If you're a mom then you no doubt know exactly what I'm talking about. I couldn't believe this perfect little being in my arms was mine. My daughter. My baby. So tiny. So innocent. So precious. Really... just so perfect.
And we were a family. It was the 3 of us, from there on out. Our prayers had been answered and parenthood was ours.
To my baby girl... We waited so long for you. I love you to the moon. And back.
And in a few short moments I could hear my baby's cries. Everybody told me she was here, but up until I heard those cries, I wasn't satisfied. Her cries, her announcement to me that she was here, was the most magical sound I have ever heard in my life. I immediately burst into tears and cries of joy. They held her up so I could see her and oh my goodness. She was absolutely beautiful. Gorgeous. God's perfect, most perfect creation. The most perfect and wonderful and awesome thing that my husband and I had ever done. They carried her over to the weighing table to get all of the pertinent information and all I could do was peek over to get glimpses of her as the Dr. and nurses went about their work. My husband was able to walk over and videotape most of it. They would call out her stats and tell me how beautiful she was and I just laid there... in total and complete awe of her existence.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, they wrapped her in a blanket, put her little cap on and brought her over to me. My arms were so numb and I could barely lift them to hold her so the nurse laid her on my chest and lifted my arms to wrap them around her. All I could do was stare at her. I could hear my husbands sniffles as he sat next to me, video camera in hand, and at one point I whispered to him to help me. I didn't feel sturdy enough to hold her on my own. I did everything I could to just soak her in. I could smell her and see her big beautiful dark eyes and somehow, in the midst of all my amazement at her sight I was able to speak a few words... "we waited so long for you". I was elated.
It wasn't long after they took her to the nursery. My husband had strict orders to stay with her and not leave her side for a moment. And then... they were gone. I was so full of emotions at that point I am pretty sure I was floating above the clouds. They wheeled me into a room for recovery and the next thing I remember is waking up and seeing my husband sitting next to me. It was 3 1/2 hours later.
"Is she ok"? Were the first words out of my mouth and then, "where is she"? My husband was very concerned about me and all I could do was wonder about my baby. He told me that my family had all seen her and that at one point she grabbed onto his finger and wouldn't let go. I was told that I couldn't be transferred until I was able to move my legs. So I hugged my husband and told him to get back to our baby girl. Oh my gosh, I tried with All. My. Might to move my legs and finally, after about 30 minutes I moved my feet and yelled to the nurse that I was ready to be transferred.
They wheeled me into the next room and I, very impatiently waited for them to bring me my daughter. The door opened and in walked my husband and then shortly there after... they wheeled her in, in her little hospital crib. It had been four hours since she was born and I was finally able to sit up and hold her properly in my arms. I had no idea what this was going to feel like. Nobody can ever fully explain to someone else how truly blissful it is to hold your brand new baby in your arms. It is not a feeling that is really describable and yet I feel like I want to continue trying... If you're a mom then you no doubt know exactly what I'm talking about. I couldn't believe this perfect little being in my arms was mine. My daughter. My baby. So tiny. So innocent. So precious. Really... just so perfect.
And we were a family. It was the 3 of us, from there on out. Our prayers had been answered and parenthood was ours.
To my baby girl... We waited so long for you. I love you to the moon. And back.
I was trying to describe that "feeling" to a friend a couple of days ago. The first thought that went through my mind was "Oh S#*&. What did I get myself into?" Then this overwhelming LOVE comes over you. Not like a love for a spouse, but some other sort of love. Like you would walk to the ends of the earth on broken glass to hold this baby. I am so glad you shared your story Anita.
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