Downhill Battle.

These past few months have been rough, to say the least.  An emotional, mental and physical roller coaster that just wouldn't stop. There have been many a nights when I sat down in front of the computer and thought, "I need to update my blog" and then I thought, "but I am feeling down and tired and don't have a whole heck of a lot of positivity to express" and so I opted out of the updating and shut it down.  Tonight wasn't much different, except to say that I am slowly, but surely coming out of the downward spiral that I felt would consume me entirely at one point.  

My original reason for starting this blog was to take you all along with me on my journey to becoming a mama and while the joyous, loving, 'happy' moments are in abundance I have had my share of tough days.  I was just careful not to express those as often or at all.  

Lately, my children have needed me to really step up and become an advocate for them. I had to stand up and make people take notice.  I had to make myself be heard, and teach my children that they too, have a voice.  And a powerful one at that.

So here I sit tonight...  thinking about this mountain I've been climbing and how, rather than falling, I continue to move forward.  My children walk beside me, knowing that if they fall I will hold my hand out for them, but I will not carry them because the victory of reaching the peak needs to be theirs.  The climb gets steeper and more difficult, but we have our sights set on the top.  Which is finally in view. And then... it's all downhill from there.  

Reflecting... Starting a new.

My babies are growing at, what I feel is, lightening speed.  My baby girl is 5 and my boys are now 3 1/2  and 1 1/2.  Crazy.

This rapid pace of life has caused me to reflect on the past 5 years and in the midst of feeling like I was failing because I wasn't doing a good job at "enjoying every moment" I came across a blog, written by a mom, that talked about how it's perfectly ok and actually expected that I don't enjoy every moment.  A crying or tantrum-ing child is not enjoyable.  Waking up all hours of the night and getting little to no sleep is not enjoyable.  But consoling and reassuring my children is.  

It was an effortless read that gave me the validation I needed at the very moment I needed it.  And with that I was able to I stop doubting myself and questioning whether or not I was doing this whole motherhood thing right. For the rest of the day, at least.  ;)

Simple truth is being a mommy is hard and keeping up with my 3 energetic trouble makers has its challenges.  I've always prided myself on loving a challenge and coming out with my head above water, but for a while there I was so full of doubt my head was spinning. I guess you could say I was drowning in it.  So I decided to update this blog to reflect my trials, tribulations and revelations. 

For me there's no better outlet than writing it down, reading it back and if negative, releasing it and moving on. 

And so, if you want...

 

just follow us.