Our life.

Shortly before my daughter turned 3 we enrolled her in preschool.  We found a great school with a low student to teacher ratio which would result in her receiving a lot of 1 on 1 attention.  We felt confident she would thrive and her enthusiasm for going assured us we did the right thing.  And having that little bit of extra time to spend with my baby boy was pretty priceless. My heart was so warm.  And so happy. 

My daughters 3rd birthday was a pretty big milestone for me.  I was so happy to see my baby girl grow and yet so sad to see the same.  Her turning 3 coupled with the fact that my baby boy just turned 1 left me crying tears of so many emotions.  I felt like time was being taken from me and I wanted to just hold on and stand still.

We were coming up on early April (2010) and were scheduled to fly to the east coast to visit my IL's.  We were definitely looking forward to the trip, but for some reason I just couldn't pull myself together to get us all ready.  I felt like it was "Moving Day" all over again.  Why, I wondered??  I had no reason to feel anything but totally excited!!  I'm thinking it was the fact that I started my period the day before we were supposed to leave...  I was probably having some bad PMS and on the day I started was having god awful cramps.  Labor pain cramp like.  Left me stopped in my tracks while trying to make lunch for my babes.   Thank goodness I was able to rally through and as they slowly went away my anxiety turned to total excitement!!  Our packing was almost completely done and I couldn't wait for my husband to get home so we could finalize plans for early the next morning.  I wasn't happy about traveling while on my period, but after all was said and done, it wasn't even a blip on my radar.  We always had a great time when we visited the IL's and I was excited to be taking my babies there for the 1st time!!  A little worried about the airport/plane ride, but just figured my husband would help keep our daughter company and I would just nurse my son when he needed/wanted.  It was a full proof plan that worked like a charm.

Our trip was a total success.  We had a super fabulous and uneventful time.  I was feeling pretty great and and pretty proud of my awesome little travelers for adjusting so amazingly.  The time change didn't mess with us much and we were all back to our daily life in no time.  My daughter went back to school, my husband went back to work and my baby boy and I spent more time together.  Our lives, the lives we created, felt fulfilled.  But...  I was definitely ready for our next adventure.  Whenever that would be. 

You have a boy and a girl... you're done, right?

C'mon... how many of you have heard this??  

It seems to be the 1st thing people say to you when they A) find out you have 2 or more children and B) that you have at least 1 boy and 1 girl.  And when I would say, "I don't know" or "we'll see", I would get a look that I must be crazy.  Really?  Is it so crazy to actually want more babies??  

The truth was I didn't know.  All I knew was that my son was really high maintenance and was still, at 16 months, not sleeping thru the night.  He slept in our bed for the most part and woke up frequently throughout the night to nurse.  He was nearing in on 18 months and in my mind that was the magical age where life gets a little easier...  so, did I want more babies?  Did I want to go through all of this again?  

Well, no matter what answer I came up with, the one constant was I had no plans for birth control.  I pretty much decided I was done with all that noise after going through what we did to get pregnant the 1st time.  I just didn't think about it...